By Jill Richardson at Jillmrichardson.com
2017! When I was a kid, I thought I would not even live to 2000–I would be SOOOO old by then. And look, here is 2017, and I’m feeling pretty good.
2016 brought a daughter married, school started, a new job, a trip to Spain, and a CUBS WORLD SERIES WIN. Among other things.
We won’t talk about the other things it brought. We . . . just . . . won’t.
So to begin 2017, I’m going to rerun some posts from a few years ago on decision making. How do we decide what matters in this new year? How do we make the decision to go for our hopes and dreams or to find new ones? If you could have five questions to ask yourself about your decisions this year, would you use them?
You can, and I think you’ll like them. So, with thanks to Gretchen Rubin, here they are.
“When I’m reluctant to take a risk or face something uncomfortable, I ask myself the Five Fateful Questions that I’ve pulled together over the years to help make difficult choices.” Gretchen Rubin, Happier at Home
Decision Making 2017
Do you, like Ms. Rubin, have difficulty making choices? Me, too.
Having now read both of Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness books, I can verify that she is probably often reluctant to take a risk or face something uncomfortable, so I feel not only rather a kindred spirit with her but also trusting that if her questions work for her, they will work for other people.
If you’ve read any of her books, you know that she diligently researches her topics. Trust me, a lot of digging and delving into history, sociology, psychology, and literature went into her work and thus, her five questions.
So I thought, why not talk about them while we talk about fearing risk or discomfort? I’m up for learning from someone else’s hard work. I used to think I had to do all the work myself and make sure it was right but now, hey, that’s what Google is for. And other authors whose thoughts I can
borrow with due credit. (http://www.happiness-project.com
Her first question when facing reluctance?
What am I waiting for?
What is keeping you back? Name the thing. It may be a legitimate need, like downpayment money, or finishing a college degree, or an OK from your parole officer to leave the country.
Name Your Obstacle
But what if the thing you name isn’t a true obstacle? What if it is blocking your way more through imagination and worry than reality? What if it’s just plain old fearful procrastination disguised as . . . waiting?
Sometimes, for us pious types, it’s “waiting on the Lord.” Except . . . it’s not. It’s holy putting-off-a-decision-I-don’t-want-to-make.
. . . I’m waiting for the kids the be older.
. . . The bank account to grow larger.
. . . The person I’m going to marry.
. . . The person I’ve been dating for eight years finally to decide we’ll get married.
. . . A house of my own.
Then, I’ll take that step.
Waiting is forever
I have to tell you something. If you’re waiting for those things to happen before you tackle whatever risk is before you, other roadblocks will pop up. Yep, as liberally as dandelions in my rose garden.
Well now that the kids are older, they’re so busy . . .
Now that I have more money, I have more bills . . .
Now that I’m married, I have to live where his job is . . .
Now that that deadbeat guy is out of my life because eight years is quite enough time to sit around waiting for something about as likely as a rain forest in the Sahara . . .
OK, if that last one is you, you can take a pass on this. You’ve been through enough for now.
Don’t Wait on Obstacles that Aren’t Real
You get the idea. Waiting for circumstances to change before you get started on something usually means new circumstances, new challenges, old procrastination. Because the problem is, that obstacle wasn’t really stopping you. Your own desire to avoid the risk did that. After that, finding reasons not to do something becomes as easy as finding Legos on the floor with your bare feet.
The obstacle isn’t really stopping you. Your own desire to avoid the risk is.
What am I waiting for?
What is it? Is it real? Is it your imagination? Your fear? Your intimidation? Name it. Know it. Maybe you have good reason to avoid something—then these questions are made to help determine that. But maybe not.
“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1.9
Next week—Fateful Question #2.